March in South Florida inevitably means one thing: SPRING BREAK! In an effort to relive some of the hazy memories of Cancuns and Panama Cities past, I drug myself out of bed at 9 a.m. to check out an MTV Spring Break taping with my friends MH, Dmitry and Patrick. I definitely have fond childhood memories of seeing the Daytona Beach episodes and hoping maybe one day I would be able to drink excessively, get too much sun and dance around on camera.
Apparently, this debauchery is much too tame for today’s viewers so, instead, we were treated to “Kings & Queens,” some bisexual game show hosted by MySpace “celebrity” Tila Tequila. The couples competing against one another were obviously hired actors and I guarantee that the majority of people in the audience had never even stepped foot on a college campus…not even to pick up friends. About 30 minutes into the show, we were all in need of some actual tequila, so we bounced to grab margaritas at a Mexican restaurant across the street.
So much for my attempt to relive the glory days. I would have rather been at yoga. Whatever happened to MTV shows like “Remote Control” where your knowledge of good old useless trivia held more credence than agreeing to an on-camera threesome? Colin Quinn, the future on television depends on you - come back!>